figured I'd post some an old poem I wrote in 2005.
I'm in that kind of mood tonight.

~Existence~



Part One: Restless

Restless as the face of the clock reads 2 then 3 then 4 am
I stare at a blank screen as the incessant blinking on the cursor laughs in my face
Seeming to curse me to a sleepless night
Sleep comes slowly as it seems to tease me before the disturbing silence engulfs me
The scream of the alarm comes all too soon
Piercing through my dream world like a dagger against my chest
My bloodshot eyes open to disappointment
My mind churns sluggishly of the perfect world in my dreams
How I long to return to it
Reality holds too few comforts to compare with my blissful fantasy
Why must this dark world bring pain?
I trudge through my day with a disappointing amount of happy moments
At least they are there at all
I return to my solace and indulge in the music that reflects my feelings
I loath the night and darkness it brings
And the cycle begins again
Escape is far from my grasp


Part Two: a reason

Life is still worth living
But motivation I lack
The friends I love and my God are my life
Without them I would have little existence
A zombie in the world run by man
The four walls of my life would crush me without the strength they give
My life meaningless without them
Without them nothing
Without them death
Silence
Pain
I have them
I have life
I have a reason